my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
