Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
