It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i believe in u and ur pee
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
