he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
