Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
