Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
