? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
