Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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