he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
