btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Found the puke drawer
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
