Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
