At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
MIDGETS
????
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
