the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I want to fling myself into the sun
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
