I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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