on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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