you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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