If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Randomize
