Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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