Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
