Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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