I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
