It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
