you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
