I should be sponsored by Trojan
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
