There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
