roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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