I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
