went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You smell like stripper and shame
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
