all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
