Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
