Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
