giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
