Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
this boner is exhausting
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
