ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
