Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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