So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it hurts more in the daytime
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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