.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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