You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
