I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
