My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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