Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
