She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She even gives head with a lisp.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
