Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
