Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
