You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
