Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
