You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
