Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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