You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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