Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
