So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
