your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
