my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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